I’m replacable

Apparently there is no way I can drop my hours, and the agency made it very clear that I was replacable. However I have taken today of sick, so that I can hopefully get through the next two weeks without crashing. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s all I’ve got at the moment.


So, I’ve got a new job. I’m temping 5 days a week, 37.5 hours, at a hospital in Bradford. This is great, it gives me money. The only problem is…I’m exhausted. The PVFS has come back with avengance and I’m struggling to function for chunks of most days. My strategy on this has been to ignore it, and I’ve had a really bad headache for the last 3 days on top of lack of concentration and general illness. The only thing I do other than work is roleplaying, twice a week. I know this is contributing to the tiredness factor, but I’m too stubborn to give it up.

If I stopped roleplaying I would loose the one activity at the moment that makes me me. I would just work, come home, crash, sleep and then start again, instead of having two days when that is broken and I see people outside my house. The best solution would be to try and reduce my hours at work – work a four day week, but I’m temping, and doubt that that could happen. I’m worried that if I even ask I’ll end up loosing this job, and this job is the first steady job I’ve had and I”m kinda liking not having to worry that I won’t have money to live on (my job makes me just enough for rent, bills, food and occasional clothes).

There is no winning situation here. If I stop my job I don’t have any money/savings to fall back on and I’m worried the depression will come back. If I carry on the job and stop roleplaying my life will be reduced to work and I’ll end up feeling isolated and crap, and if I carry on ignoring my illness then I’ll gradually get worse and worse until I crash.

There’s no way out.

Holy crap! Is that breakfast?

Things got a little bit insane after I left Ljubljana. I booked a hostel in Maribor, the nearest town to where my grandmother was born and dumped my bag with all my clothes and toiletries in and set off back to the train station to get the train to Prevalje. I was carrying a little bag with valubles in it, my laptop and camera…and a jumper. When I got to Prevalje I found out that it was assumed I was staying here for the night in my second cousins hotel.

Now, I’ve never stayed in a hotel before. I’ve stayed in a B&B three or four times in my adult life so this hotel has come as a bit of a shock. The room is massive, there are two sofas, a massive bed, television, phone, wireless internet, a minibar…there is even a freaking balcony!!!

And I thought the hostel that I had booked (and paid for) was a good one.

It turns out that I’m actually going to be staying another night here – the people are amazing and have done everything possible to give me the opportunity to stay longer (including the loan of clothing). It’s fantastic.


Zagrab is incredibly disapointing. The hostel is jam packed, the internet advertised isn’t working, there is no laundry and the city is modern and I can’t find a bar with free wifi anywhere. I’m not impressed.

However…I met some wonderful people last night and had quite a nice meal that wasn’t pizza. But apart from that I’m not really very excited to be here. I kinda hoped that I could find a bar and just sit there for hours on my laptop, but that’s not to be.

Ahhh well….Ljubljana tommorrow


I'm sat in “Club Bill Gates”, in the middle of Sarajevo typing a post on my Apple computer and stopping for lunch before continuing my quest to find somewhere with wi fi. I'm also feeling very guilty about not updating before now on my travels.

Here's the story so far : A week at a WSCF confrence in Nitra, Slovakia learning about domestic violence and helping run the language sessions. I wouldn't have got to the confrence without the help of a lovely women I met who spoke perfect english (she went to uni in Newcastle) and ended up asking her mother to come and find us and take me to where I was meant to be. We got slightly lost…

The conference was great, the people were fantastic and I hope to do more WSCF events in the future, but in a way I was glad it was over and I could start travelling. My first point of call was Pecs, in South Hungary. I only spent 2 nights there and really enjoyed it – the hostel was fantastic, clean, friendly and had wifi. I only had one day there which was spent exploring the city in the morning and going to an outdoor swimming pool/spa in the afternoon. The spa was amazing – 5 outdoor pools of varying temperature and it only cost me 2 euros for 6 hours there as I went in the afternoon.

I then had the joy of a 9 hour train journey to Sarajevo. Most of the hostel seemed to be going to Sarajevo, and as there was only one train a day I had a travel companion and learnt a very important lesson. Always have enough food or water for the whole journey as there may not be a buffet card. Arriving in SarajevI'o I found the hostel and ended up talking to one of the owners in the evening. Which was great until he asked to get to know me better (!) at that point I went to bed. The next day was spent exploring sarajevo, and I ended up making a friend in one of the shops, and we arranged to go to coffee at 6pm on Sunday (today).

Yesterday I went to Sebrenica. Which was an amazing expereince, mostly because I spent 10 hours on busses through rural Bosnia. Sebrenica itself was a small town, about the size of the one I grew up in, every building was bullet scarred, and despite the fact it was Saturday the town seemed deserted. The actual memorial and graveyard was about a mile out of town, but I didn't get there – just passed it on a bus. Thousands of white graves, bearing names and dates, and hundreds more, green and brown which didn't seem to have names on them. Travelling along the roads I saw memorials to people who had presumably been killed there and signs warning of mines. it was very sad.

I had a fun experince in Sebrenica though, I ordered lemonade, and drank it. Once I was ready to leave I suddenly realised that I had left my purse on a wall. I explained this in English to mysitified bar staff and patrons, and then sprinted to find my purse on the wall where I left it. Returning I waved it triumphantly, and everyone smiled and suddenly understood why this mad english women had ran out. Then a guy brought me a drink and started chatting me up in bosnian. Which was less good.

Today I went to mass in the Catholic cathederal, and ended up doing a reading. Which was an experience and certainly made the trip that bit more special. I've now eaten pizza and am quite enjoying relaxing here with my computer looking as though I'm working very hard so will stay here a while.

The Fifth Housemate

On Thursday we got a kitten. We’d done the grown up thing and decided to get an adult cat as we didn’t know that we could look after a kitten, as they need more love and attention than an adult cat, but the neighbor of one of our friends found a tiny kitten in a warehouse and couldn’t look after it. So now we have a 6 week old ball off fluff who ignores the name Kerfuffle. At the moment she is sitting on my windowsill gazing out at the outside world.

It’s been a bit manic since then – not only have we had a new kitten in the house, but we’ve had 4 extra people staying her for the last 4 days, and on monday night 4 more come for graduation. It’s a good job that my family live close enough to do a day trip otherwise we’d have to find beds for 8 people.

It’s fun though, and I am graduating on Wednesday, and then working for a year with a teaching agency and then doing a PGCE in Religious Education in York starting in 2009.

It’s all rather good really.

Ten things that make me happy

In no particular order:

1. Sitting in the sun with friends and food.
2. Dark pubs with real fires and folk music
3. Lines in songs that make me smile, or think, or make the whole room sing and laugh.
4. Being nice to people unexpectantly.
5. My mum cleaning the fridge in our new house.
6. Walking on a warm evening.
7. Playing with friends children.
8. Planning fun stuff in our new house.
9. Cooking elaborate meals.
10. Playing in the park in the middle of the night.


Well, I’ve now officially finished uni and have been trying to get a job without much success. But things are good.

I’ve applied for a PGCE in York, to teach religious studies at secondary level. I’m moving into a new house, have painted my room and am in the process of getting enough bookcases to hold all my books. We’ve got a garden full of vegetables, and some strawberries and a couple of raspberry plants, along with tomatoes, courgette, beans, peas and various other things. Oh, and peppers on the kitchen windowsill.

I’m still living with the same people, but we’ve moved out of the student area to near a large park, about 30 mins walk from the city center. It should be good.