Wibbling Thoughts

I learnt some valuble things this period as i sat in a booth at the end of a row upstairs in my College library (sixth form site if anyone wants to verify my findings)trying to be creative and write some prayery type things. In common with many many librarys accross the country and world the tables are covered in graffiti….but york tables are different! gone are the sez a woz ere and tu luvs aj and related childishness…our tables are different! We have such pearls of wisdom as:

*Vive le Revoloution

*life is sweet – don’t eat meat

*life hurts

*GOD IS DEAD

*dreams can come true

*are you bored? go to tescos’

*my life is shit i want to die <–grwo up and get over it

*life is a compramise

*i never lived

*the british national (nazi) party is NOT a joke

*Brain child of Mars

*low self esteem is not a joke. P.U.S.H.

*i think i’m going mad……….more tea vicar?

So there you are…random pearls of wisdom from anonomous people who went/go to my college…

I’m still not inspired to write a prayer though….

Poem.

Beloved

IMOM 18.12.02

i never once saw you smile

or held you in a hug

we were so far apart

to ever reach to touch you

yet somehow you took my heart

and raised it with in your hands

i can never explain the way that you touched

or the safety that i felt

just to be with you, though miles separated

through the laughter and the tears

but beloved now i miss you

i miss your faith and love

i miss your belief in me

in the person i could be

Beloved would you love me not?

though i failed your final wish

my heart still screams your love is real

the sun still rides through the heavens

beloved friend i love you now

and will remember you though you’ve gone home

beloved tourjais gai.

I HATE DEPRESSION

I hate it…i hate the loneliness, i hate the comfort eating and the binging and the starving and the self hate that is rife with all the crap…i hate the long sleves and all the assoiated crap

I hate lying to everyone when they ask “how are you”

I go back to college in two days. I am scared. I am scared of failing again, of getting bad results, of sturggling and getting behind with work, of everything associated with succeeding at education.

I must do well. I must succeed. I must be perfect.

Dear god don’t let me fail again.

Please.