Archive for March, 2004

update….

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004

(at last)

Hmmm, what has happened that was interesting?

I’ve got a job, it is one day a week, crap money and completely boring…but it’s a job.

oooh, I know something interesting (well…relitively interesting)

I went to Durham for an RS trip yesterday, spent the lunch hour showing Anna (a girl in my RS class) around the Cathedral, said hello to St. Cuthbert, and forgot to go to the Lady Chapel, which has to be the most calming place in the cathedral.

It rained, it hailed, it was gloriously sunny…all in the space of one hour!

The lectures I went to were even fairly interesting, I went to 5 over the course of the day…

1. was on the Ontological argument, and was fairly dry and academic, I didn’t learn anything new…
2. was a David Wilkinson one, about the beginning of the Universe, which was really really interesting, multimedia which seems to suit my learning style and using a power point presentation.
3. was “only a suffering God can help” and involved two of the favourite theologians, Bonhoffer, who I find easy to read and challenging, and Moultmann, who I find almost impossible to read but really really challenging. I learnt new facts (like Moultmann was a German soldier in WW2) and gained a new understanding of the Patripassic Heresy, which is saying that God died on the cross, only it was all of God, cos God was father until he became incarnet, then he was son until he ascended and then he was spirit. Which is modalism. I now understand why it is bad – before then I thought it was just saying that the part of God which was Jesus died on the cross, but now I know better. I’m not a heretic!
4. was another David wilkinson lecture, this one about the end of the universe – which was very good. And I talked to him afterwards cos my ex-minister had told me about him and lent me a book by him…

Oh…..The person doing the “only a suffering God can help” lecture is a shipmate – which was fairly scary…I sat there thinking “i’ve met him before, i know his name…is he a shipmate….” so I asked him and he was!

aaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Monday, March 1st, 2004

sums up my life at the moment.

some arse hole just slagged me off for sitting on my own in the canteen. I can’t help having no friends. I have just the same rights to use the canteen as they do…

I have a bad headache, am really tierd and want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Things seem to be going from bad to worse at the moment, and they will get steadily worse for the next few weeks.

I need a miracle to get myself out of this situation. And that ain’t gonna happen…

The emotional “depression strikes back” thing can be sorted (going to doctors) but the practical situation is very serious. I am only just realising how serious it is.

And to top it all off, i am now on the pill for very bad period pains. So now instead of having pains every month for two weeks (or three if they are *really* bad) I seem to have less severe pains daily. damn.

Oh, and some of my photos will be put up here soon.