Wibbling Thoughts

I didn’t get the job.

I got dragged out of bed with a phone call thanking me for my job application, and telling me I’ve been shortlisted for interview.

And my dissertation is in. I feel very bouncy and happy.

Yays!

I’ve printed it out, and am taking it to be bound today.

I’ve applied for the job I’m going for (should hear whether I’m shortlisted in the next week).

I’ve even made a short list of photos for photography – found 15 out of over 300, and only need to cut three of them.

So why aren’t I happy and bouncy and full of yays?

At the moment I’m terrified, and incredibly nervous. I don’t have any reason to be, my next deadline is the 29th, and as long as I have 12 images I’m sorted. I need to decide an order, and do a bit more cutting and sticking and work in photoshop, but I’m not panicing about getting the work done. My exam is on the 19th May, so plenty of time to learn/revise, so I’m not panicing about that either. I’m panicing about something much much bigger, my life, my degree rests on stuff that I’m about to hand in/emailed in on Sunday.

I have a plan b if the job falls through, wonderful friends who I’ll have to leave behind and move to a new city that I lived in as a child.

It’s so uncertain, and new, and scary.

And I want to hide in bed and watch reruns of buffy.

Word Count : 13544 excluding bibliography and footnotes. That’s 1500 words under the maximum word limit.
Pages : 42 including Bibliography
References : 114

So, I’m currently a bit proud of myself. I could hand it in as is, but want to do more work on the introduction, although i don’t really know what else to write. It’s only 400 words long at the moment, and very brief, but I’m not sure what else to add to it. My next challenge is photography – I’m way behind on my visual journal, and other things. I need to do a major cutting and sticking session tomorrow, and then lock myself in the digital arts center for as long as possible, and aim to get the 8 photos I’m planning on using into a hand in able situation. Then I need to take about 3 memory cards full to get the remaining 4 images.

I’ve decided that I hate finals. With a passionate vengence.

I’m not even thinking about my exam, I don’t know the date therefore it’s not happening. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

I graduate on the 15th July – but I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up….

Remember I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I felt alone politically on the ship?

Well, part of that feeling has involved not mentioning my political views, because I don’t want to paint a target on myself. Well, now there is a whole thread of target painting.

Yay me.

What I didn’t mention in my last post is that my dissertation tutor is away at the moment. She returns two days before the deadline. She is apparently contactable by email though…

So, after a meeting with the undergraduate director for peace studies, I emailed her. On Monday. She hasn’t replied. Today’s job includes going into the department, finding someone, and holding them hostage until they help me*.

I’ve done the mini introductions and conclusions, and most of the spelling, and sorted out where the numbers for the foot notes should go in relation to the punctuation…and just about done the conclusion. But I’m still struggling on the introduction. Oh, and some guidence as to whether the thing is even vauglly good.

Meanwhile, I’ve been procrastinating. I went to the worlds most amazing camera shop, and they sorted me out with a macro photography set up for cheap by fitting a cannon to some obsucre lens adaptor ring, so my camera now takes m 42 lenses. Or any other lenses for that matter, as it’s just a case of getting the right ring. I also have a reverser ring, so I can take photos through a 50mm lens put backwards on the camera. And a rather nice 165mm/f2 portrait lens, which is beautiful. The best thing about the shop was that they weren’t trying to up sell me – they tempted me with things and then said “no, play with what you’ve got, then come back.” Which I think is a bit unfair, as I now want what I can’t have. Anyway, if you’re interested in finding out the name/where this places is…email me.

*Discalimer: This isn’t really my plan, if the news breaks that this has happened, it’s not me, it’s not my fault. I didn’t do it.